Following on the revelations that mazel tov and vichy water are derived from Irish, the Irish Milesian Academy For Intellectual Arts (IrishMAFIA), which was set up to continue the etymological work of the late Daniel Cassidy, has announced that brassiere derives from Irish. Brendan Patrick Gurne, Professor of Creative Etymology at IrishMAFIA, shared his thoughts with our correspondent.
“If you look on the Anglophile etymology websites, they will tell you some implausible story about brassiere coming from the French word for arm as a military arm-protector, then a breast-plate and finally as the modern brassiere but of course, we don’t have to follow any of these university etymologies because orthodox scholarship is all part of an Anglophile conspiracy against the Irish. I guess Oxford scholars wouldn’t know this, but women don’t wear bras on their arms, guys! The origin of this word in Irish is obvious. It comes from breá meaning fine and saor meaning free, thus women who had been used to constrictive corsets called the new underwear breá saor [brah seer], fine and free! The French brassiere is completely unsupported!”
John Weeney of the SoLow Alliance agrees:
“Anyone who disagrees with the Irish origin of the word brassiere, or indeed with any of my opinions or any of the opinions of any of my friends is clearly a self-hating Irishman. I mean, why would anyone deny my right to rewrite the entire linguistic history of Ireland and the USA on the basis of my Christmas card list? No Irish need apply, that’s why! Brassiere is obviously an Irish word. Vive la … similarity, whatever that is in French.”
Peter Quint, Professional Irish-American, said: “What a shame that Danny isn’t here to see his work on the Irish origins of words vindicated!”
Outside of the circle of Cassidy’s friends, reaction to the revelation has been muted.
“I NEVER TUTCHED THOSE BRAS. THEY WOS BLOWN INTO MY BAG BY THE WIND” said a man with a tinfoil hat on the Internet.